Let’s talk about the “Why me?” syndrome, a syndrome which plagues all and sundry irrespective of age, economic status or a particular profession. The first reaction to an adverse circumstance by us humans is “Why me?” Why? Why does it happen only to me, it’s not my fault, I didn’t do anything and yet it is always me … why God why, why, and why always me????
Yes, this is a desperate plea to the supreme superpower for help because we feel helpless, frustrated, and dejected. The default reaction is either blaming someone for the situation or wallowing in self-pity. None of these reactions however would mitigate the situation. Things would’nt change by themselves just because we are frustrated and angry.
Once, we feel helpless… we have lost control of the situation. We let go of hope and end up going with the flow thereby forfeiting a chance to fight, a chance to change or mitigate the circumstance.
But is giving up an option though? Will it mitigate the circumstance or will it break you and make you suicidal or depressed or worse case a schizophrenic?
The first step when caught in an adverse circumstance is to accept it. Yes, acceptance.. what has happened has happened, it’s a done deal, it can’t be changed so accept it. Once you have accepted it, it becomes your responsibility to mitigate it.
It may be correct that you had nothing to do with what has happened. You may be a victim.. but then you are alive and need to live. So you will have to rectify what has happened for your own sake and the first step in this direction is to accept the situation, take responsibility, and then gauge the impact.
Calmly and rationally analyse the situation. If it’s a health issue… assess the next best step. If it’s a work issue then draw a list of people/acquaintances who you can reach out to for support, if you have been laid off… assess your expenses…..compare your savings and determine the number of months that you can survive without an active income.
But first and foremost step is to take control, unless you do so…the adverse circumstances will consume you and render you an emotional wreck which people would avoid.
However clichéd it sounds, quoting Winston Churchill, “Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts”.
So stop lamenting on what happened, stop thinking it isn’t your fault, and stop ruminating that you have no choice. You have a choice, a choice to take control of what has happened, a choice to analyze the situation objectively, a choice to act, a choice to give your best shot for rectifying the situation..so seize this chance, pick yourself up and go out there and fight the circumstance.
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